The support we've gotten (Both Melissa and I) from the community around her is incredible.
~ Aristotle Sabouni
Created: 2023-02-25 |
Community Support
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| This list is going to be pending for a while, as there's so many people/stories to add to it). I just started it with a few examples, and the Running Group example. And they will pay Melissa a visit tomorrow). |
- Everyone It's not like a few people offered support, it's EVERYONE offered sincere support; asking what they could do. Gossiping like Southerners (in the good way, to know what was going on, relay it so that I didn't have to keep repeating it, and because they all cared). "Can we come over and do ANYTHING? And sinceerly mean it. And it wasn't just Houston friends, it was family across the nation and globe (All the way to cousin Alexis in the UK, or Hussein in Iran). It was incredible.
Theressa
Theresa was the Woman (PA / Physicians assistant) running with Melissa, when Melissa stopped.
- When she called me as Myrna was doing CPR, she said, "Melissa dropped", so I relayed that. But technically, Melissa just bent over and put her hands on her knees, and was non-response, tense, and a little foam. So Theresa laid her into the grass and dealt with the convulsions.
- Theresa called Mirna (MA / Nurse Assistant) who came back and started CPR, while Theresa thought it was more a stroke/seizure event. But convultions/siezures can be part of a heart event. Theresa was later a bit upset that she hadn't caught the heart aspect of it sooner -- but she still reacted quickly, and helped save Melissa's life.
- They had only known each other a little bit. And Melissa was a little out of it on like day 6 or so when Theresa visited, but said how she'd like to do lunch and become better friends. (Very Melissa).
- Theresa is about one of a half dozen people on earth that have seen me ugly cry.
- When she called me as Myrna was doing CPR, she said, "Melissa dropped", so I relayed that. But technically, Melissa just bent over and put her hands on her knees, and was non-response, tense, and a little foam. So Theresa laid her into the grass and dealt with the convulsions.
- Theresa called Mirna (MA / Nurse Assistant) who came back and started CPR, while Theresa thought it was more a stroke/seizure event. But convultions/siezures can be part of a heart event. Theresa was later a bit upset that she hadn't caught the heart aspect of it sooner -- but she still reacted quickly, and helped save Melissa's life.
- They had only known each other a little bit. And Melissa was a little out of it on like day 6 or so when Theresa visited, but said how she'd like to do lunch and become better friends. (Very Melissa).
- Theresa is about one of a half dozen people on earth that have seen me ugly cry.
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Mirna
Our little ex-New Yorker alfa-Angel. A bundle of go-get'em spirit in a tiny package.
- Mirna's a medical assistant that was called when Melissa went down, and normally runs marathons and paces faster than Melissa. So they knew each other by being in the same group, but didn't really know each other well. She came back, felt that it was a heart event, and jumped on CPR and did it until the Ambulance arrived.
- When we were in the grieving room, and they were telling me it had been too long and they were going to give up on Melissa, Mirna went in there, and let them know that she'd done good CPR and they weren't giving up on her that quickly. When Melissa got sinus and they called me in to say goodbye (and it held).
- Then when the first Hospital was kinda being lax (they didn't think Melissa's odds were good), she was on them and the one that suggest I could ask for a transfer. Which I did immediately (it was crossing my mind, but I didn't know I could just ask), and I started pulling strings (like calling Melissa's doctor on call, and telling them to accept her). Mirna, having worked at Houston Methodist, was both prodding both sides; telling Methodist to accept her (and check on status) and pushing people at HCA Kingwood to upgrade the priority to help push Melissa over to Houston Meth.
- She visited regularly, and when Mary (Melissa's Mom) wanted to commute in earlier than I could, or on Days I needed a break, Mirna offered to let Mary carpool with her.
- Mirna's a medical assistant that was called when Melissa went down, and normally runs marathons and paces faster than Melissa. So they knew each other by being in the same group, but didn't really know each other well. She came back, felt that it was a heart event, and jumped on CPR and did it until the Ambulance arrived.
- When we were in the grieving room, and they were telling me it had been too long and they were going to give up on Melissa, Mirna went in there, and let them know that she'd done good CPR and they weren't giving up on her that quickly. When Melissa got sinus and they called me in to say goodbye (and it held).
- Then when the first Hospital was kinda being lax (they didn't think Melissa's odds were good), she was on them and the one that suggest I could ask for a transfer. Which I did immediately (it was crossing my mind, but I didn't know I could just ask), and I started pulling strings (like calling Melissa's doctor on call, and telling them to accept her). Mirna, having worked at Houston Methodist, was both prodding both sides; telling Methodist to accept her (and check on status) and pushing people at HCA Kingwood to upgrade the priority to help push Melissa over to Houston Meth.
- She visited regularly, and when Mary (Melissa's Mom) wanted to commute in earlier than I could, or on Days I needed a break, Mirna offered to let Mary carpool with her.
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Vickie and Richard
Our friends and neighbors (that we do a LOT of Dominoes/weekends/etc with), were there immediately when I told them. Vickie knew something was wrong, and Richard called while I was in the waiting room (and they were hinting she was going to die), and they were down there as fast as the car would go. Richard wouldn't leave. I slept on a chair in the ICU room with Melissa for 3 days. Richard grabbed two couches in the ICU, and made a bed/fort, and slept in there with his C-PAP. He wasn't gong to leave until she was out-of-the-woods (e.g. we moved her to Houston Methodist).
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Sigrid
One of our friends, neighbors and Domino partners is a Neuropsychologist (e.g. does evaluation and rehab on stroke, alzheimers, etc). She visited Melissa as a friend, but I don't think the professional completely turns off. And of course I ask questions (mooching free advise).
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Mandy
Mandy runs the workout class that Melissa goes to regularly (and I'm a little less regular). But they are friends, and do pedi's and day-drinking. But Mandy visited, and knew how to do mama things like rub Melissa's face with a warm towel, or soothe her in ways that completely bonded them for life.
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Running Group (USAFit Kingwood)
When the running group found out what happened to Melissa, everyone was so concerned. A bunch of her friends there decided to dedicate the Houston Rodeo Run to her (which Melissa was going to do on 02/25). They ran with her picture on their bib, and gave her this photo. And a Medal. When Mirna told Melissa this, it was still very early on, and she was still out of it, and she smiled ear to ear in the middle of recouping.
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- Neighbors and food I didn't really have dependable parents, so grew up fiercly independent. (I had to be). So it took me many years to accept help with grace. (I also have to work to be considerate. Not out of malice, it just was a little more "fend for yourself", so you just don't think about it). So some of the neighbors wanted to make meals to make our lives easier. My first reaction was, "no no", partly because I was on the road, and just grabbing something, warming frozen, or door dashing. But part of being a community is learning to accept and it is convenient not to have to worry about food, and get something a lot better/healthier than Whataburger. This making meals for others is something I've seen in movies, but is highly appreciated, both in result and sentiment.
- Family, old friends and support I have folks that I can lean on. I talk with folks like my brother and my cousin in the UK. Both familial grounding that have known me forever. But there's Melissa's friend Gina and Debi who have experiences in similar areas that have deep investements in Melissa and the issue and are great to share with. As well as people who you know less long, but share their relatable experience with Stroke, Coma's or TBI's.
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