I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
~ Aristotle Sabouni |
Memes/Food/Drink • [24 items]
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 The doctor told me to put a bar in the shower! So I did.
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 Bernie Sanders walks into a bar and yells, "Free drinks for everyone!".... "who is buying?"
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 Child: Mom, what's an alcoholic? Mom: See those two boats over there? An alcoholic would see four. Child: but mom, there's only one boat. Mom: Fuck. |
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 You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running.
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 Drunk wives matter!
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 When I dunk my cookies I think of you... and I hold them under until the bubbles stop.
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 Does wine count as a serving of fruit?
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 Jack Daniel's Listerine? I'd have to retrain my muscle memory to not reflexively swallow.
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 When life is hard, but you're trying to eat healthy.
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 Me: thanks for all you do for me *leans in for a kiss*. Liquor Store Clerk: can you just pay for the whiskey?!
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 What if rape rules applied the other way? Did you bring a man home a drunk man and take advantage of him?
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 I wonder if there's a margarita out there somewhere, thinking about me too?
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 Mountain Dew: the sports drink for gamers! And coders.
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 Ran out of coffee, substituted tequila. Everyone is so pretty today.
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 Let's reduce drunk driving by taking away cars from Sober drivers! (The root idea of gun-control)
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 Taco Bell: also open when you're sober!
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 Knowledge is know a tomato is a fruit Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad |
 Waffle House: because it's 2am and you're drunk!
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 Funny how it seems impossible to drink 8 cups of water a day, but 8 beers and 7 shots in 2 hours goes down like a fat kid on a seesaw.
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