Poison Oak
From iGeek
This is a video by me, on how I earned my superpower, with the help of poison oak and public humiliation in Junior High School
~ Aristotle Sabouni
Created: 2019-01-30 |
Short Version[edit | edit source]
Brazen Shamelessness  |
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This is a video by me, on how I earned my superpower, with the help of poison oak and public humiliation in Junior High School |
The short version is:
- I was poison oak resistant (wherever I got it, I wouldn't get it again). Eventually, this eliminated places I could get it... until I managed to get it in the one place remaining (full frank and beans). Life lesson about public urination I assume.
- Turns out, mucous membranes and soft tissue really don't like the stuff, and swells to cartoon proportions. I go to the dermatologist with ginormous red genitals that would scare baboons (literally 3 x normal size).
- Doctors solution was to use a UV lamp to "dry things up", and industrial calamine lotion to take home. (Note to Dr. Stanowitz, if you're going to leave a 14 year old in the stirrups with a sun-lamp cooking his good bits, please close the door when you leave next time -- I had to put a towel over my face so no passers by would recognize me).
- 4 days later 9th Grade starts. And I remember after PE that showers are mandatory. No pleading would get me out of it, and the PE teacher intimidated me enough that I just went with it. Swelling had gone down to twice normal size, but the UV lamp works extremely well on places that don't usually get a lot of sunlight -- my body opted for dark brown coloring.
- If you're thinking that having a large black man's genitals on a 14-year-old boy would be a good thing, you'd be sorely mistaken. Not only did kids sprain their necks on the double-take checking out the mutant kid, but after that the girls that had heard the story would turn white and flee on seeing me in the halls. I became the pariah of Jr. High School girls, and seemed to always draw an audience when taking a shower. (After another week or so, the swelling was gone -- but the color lasted the rest of the year).
My life would have been a lot easier if Bathing Suits were an option.
👁️ See also
- 1982 ⚕️Nose Job - My first "major" medical procedure was a nose job. It's an Iranian thing. (Oh, and a broken nose thing).
- Broken Arms - Many people have never broken a limb. I've broken my left arm five times... just lucky I guess (or stupid).
- Phobias and Anxiety - That which does not destroy us makes us stronger... but given the choice, I might opt for a little more weakness.
- Overcoming Anxiety - Yield and Overcome -- how I got through Anxiety. Sometimes the end is just the beginning.
- Road to Recovery - Life is a journey, don't race to end.
- Colonoscopy - Colonoscopy has been touted as something everyone should do, and best way to reduce risk. May be debunked.
🔗 More
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