Week 1

Melissa was running on Saturday (02/18) and had a heart attack (and stroke), and had to have CPR for over an hour. Melissa was running on Saturday (02/18) and had a heart attack (and stroke), and had to have CPR for over an hour. ℹ️ Info           Created: 2023-03-13

2023-02-18 to 02-24 - Heart Attack, Coma, Transfer to Houston Methodist, proof of life

• Melissa was running on Saturday (02/18) and had a heart attack (and stroke), and had to have CPR for over an hour.

1. Melissa was runnning with her Kingwood running group when she stopped, put her hands on her knees, and looked like she was having a seizure. Theresa (Physicians Assistant) was running with Melissa and started CPR and treatment. Mirna (Medical Assistant w/ICU) had come back, and took over CPR.
2. The Hospital the paramedics took her to (HCA Kingwood) was looking at the case details (54 year old woman, with CPR for an hour, and Ventrical Tachicardia that wouldn't get into rhythm) and was kind of writing her off. They told me to say goodbye, when she got sinus ryhthm, and they were surprised when it stuck and she lived through the night. Then they were implying that if she lived, the odds are she'd be brain dead. We started trying to move her to Houston Methodist (much better place) as soon as possible, and it took until Tuesday to get her there.
3. They had put her in a Coma, did hypothermia (normothermia) to keep her temp down, my neighbor friend slept in the waiting room for 3 days while I slept in the hypothermia room with Melissa, but on day 3 she passed her tests that she could respond to questions (SAT) and breath on her own (SBT) so they transferred her.
4. By Friday that they had her of the vent, she was talking a little, Melissa's Mom got there to help. Melissa's short term memory was only about 10-20 minutes, but her long term memory, ability to recognize people, chuckle at jokes, and so on, was doing quite good.

Day 1

           Main article: 2023 Heart Attack/Day 1

2023-02-18 (Saturday) Heart Attack (V-tach) Melissa has a runnning group she does on Saturday's and I'm at the Gym Swimming I had just got in the pool when the music on the underwater headphones went out, and the phone was flashing. I answered a local number (odd time for a call) and was expecting spam. Instead I got the call that someone who lives with a heart patient is always dreading, "This is Theresa, I run with your wife, and she went down, they are doing CPR on her right now". I'm on my way, and jumped out, threw my clothes on, and started driving the 15 minutes to where she likely was. It's wierd, you're in a fog. You know this is real... and you've kind of had to program yourself to this possible day. Before we got married, I knew of the risks, and negotiated with myself -- you can love this person, but the odds are higher that you'll have to deal with her death, sooner than many. And you won't get the guys easy-way-out by dying first. The start of the drive, you're in full, "this could just be minor", as well as the terror, "of this could be it". At least you kissed her this morning in passing (with a side of grab-ass), and said the usual, "Have a great run/swim" and we'd see what the day brings. Your life together is crashing down with toughts like, "we had a great 30 years, with lots of challenges and adventures -- better than most every get". Along with bargaining/pleading/praying, "please don't let this ride be over -- my life would be so empty without her". Which is selfish -- this is about her. Stop crying stupid, and focus on what's important; her. Where do you go? Fortunately, where she was, was along the route to the closest hospital where I knew they would take her (more or less). So once I was in the car, heading towards her, I called Theresa back. OMW! They were still at the start of the running trail -- I knew loosely where to go. There was some back and forth, and it took a while for them to get going, but I intersected them in route, and followed them to the hospital. (Riding on their tail). The dynamics of coordination in these crises is worse than I thought. I was talking with Theresa on the 15 minute drive (intermittently) and they said the ambulance was arriving... so I went left at the intersection towards the hospital (instead of right towards where they were) figuring they were just behind me. And I wasn't sure I could find her on the trail without a lot of guidance distractions. I got about 5 mins down the road, before I got ahold of Theressa again. And found out they handn't yet left, and had been paddling her, and it wasn't working. (It never worked for me either). I should go back/there (I think Theresa was implying this might be your last chance to see her semi-alive). So I turned around. (And stayed on the phone). While almost back, they finally decided to take off (with Melissa on a CPR machine), they still hadn't gotten her into rhythm. I U-turned and waited in a parking lot until they passed (I had seen the lights in the distance) and then followed them all the way. Theresa was inside the ambulance and relaying that the crazy guy following her Melissa's husband. I'm not dead yet They brought Melissa in, and stuck me in the private greiving room. I understand this is protocol to get me out of there. How do you watch the love of your life being torn away from you? A couple other people from her running group joined. I was doing the math. This wasn't a quick zap and she's back that I'd been praying for on the drive over. This was our life as I knew it ending. The staff let me know that they'd been working an hour, and didn't have sinus rhythm and this didn't look good. They'd try for a few more minutes. About this time my friend Richard called, Vickie (his wife, Melissa's friend) had sensed something was wrong when Melissa didn't answer a text, and I told them I was at the Hospital and Melissa had gone down. They left for there immediately. More on Vickie and Richard Bargaining: Not yet. Not yet, please not yet. She's a fighter. While also rambling things about at least she was doing what she loved and fighting to the very end (through sobs). Then they came in and said she was in sinus rhythm, but unlikely to hold and I should come say goodbye while I could. I held her hand and caterwauled about loving her, fight baby, and whatever. And to the shock of everyone (pun intended) the sinus held for 1/2 an hour, and more. After an hour or two and they were transferring Melissa to ICU, I looked at the doctor that was prepping me for her going -- she shrugged her shoulders and said, "Sometimes it's me, sometimes it's God. That one was God". I was filled in on details later: Mirna was a marathon runner and Medical Assistant. She was also the one that did CPR on Melissa. While Theresa is a PA, the way Melissa manifested was she stopped, put her hands on her knees/bent over, and was non-responsive but standing (and tense). Theresa thought it was a seizure (there was a little foam at the edge of her mouth) and muscle tension (without looking grand maul). So Theresa laid her down and was checking on siezure, and had called Mirna. Mirna being a minute or two ahead, came back and is bit of an alpha-personality with New Yorker roots, checked pulse and went into full CPR. When the Doctor was writing her off and implying she was gone, Mirna stormed out of the waiting room and into the ER and gave him a piece of her mind; she had just done a lot of good work on Melissa (gotten to her quickly, and kept her alive), and was not going to let them throw it away! They better keep trying or it was on them! What happened? Basically, a V-fib event (Ventricular Tachycardia, that likely went into V-Fib). There were warning signs. Her doctor said no Woodlands Half-Marathon that was coming up, and she was scheduled for a chest MRI on Thurs. Typical Melissa since he said no Woodlands half, he hadn't specifically forbidden her the 10K Rodeo Run, or a 6 mile training run... probably because she never told him. That's how her sneaky-brain works. But if Melissa listened to doctors, she wouldn't have had any quality of life at all. And she's not too good at listening to Husbands either. She's a fighter. We don't know exactly why she went into V-Tach/V-Fib. The black box dump of her pacemaker showed it went into that. But basically, it's a 2-lead pacemaker (upper chambers) with defib ability (for the upper half) -- and V-Fib is a lower chamber event. So it recorded it, but couldn't do anything to stop it. Once in it, they couldn't pull her out. Which is surprising. The 3 things it most likely would have been is (a) plumbing (blockage that starved the heart) (b) electrical (the signal that tells your heart to beat, was jumping over scar tissue and causing it to beat out of sync) (c) chemical (potassium/electrolytes were way off). The post-event angeogram showed no blockages. At the hospital is showed her potassium was way off -- but the event can cause the potassium or vice versa. As a layperson, I was guessing that they were having a hard time getting her out of V-fib because it took a while to fix her electrolytes (before the heart would sync) -- and she isn't great with chemistry management (takes caffeine + sugar before running, etc). But the experts are still going to diagnose root cause, and not go with Hubby's best guess. The remedy matters on what it was. Most likely if they think it is electrical, they'll do an ablation to weaken the electrical signal to her lower chambers, and replace her 2-lead pacemaker with a 4-lead. (So her lower heart won't flutter, and if it does, it can defib it). Siezure? Melissa's tongue was swolen, and there was a little blood in her mouth. And it manifested with muscle tension. (And once they shocked her 6+ times, and pumped her full of drugs, she was having some involuntary arm movements). So they were trying to valudate it wasn't a siezure and got a CT scan pretty quickly. But nothing. Then they put her in ICU room 2-20. The night attending said if she spasms (twitches like she's falling backwards) that "those patients are toast". If she'd gotten the hiccups that night, I would have lost my mind. (They just didn't understand what they were saying, and how a distraught Husband would take it). Start Transfer to Houston Methodist While Kingwood E.R. had followed prootocols and saved my wife's life (a little too reluctantly), I was already getting a bad vibe, and wishing she could be in Houston Methodist (her Hospital, one of the Best in the State + Nation + World for her issues). When Mirna called and explained that we should try to get her moved, that I could just request the transfer, which I did immediately and as respectfully as I could. They understood and started the process. And Mirna kept pressuring them to raise the level (to get Melissa prioritized). More at Hospitals

Day 2

           Main article: 2023 Heart Attack/Day 2

2023-02-19 (Sunday) Bring on the cold Hypothermia At some point they thought Melissa's temp was going up a little, and it's protocol to do "normo-thermia" (or hypothermia) therapy -- which involves dropping her body temp to about 96°, Melissa hates the cold. Even in a medical coma. She would shake/shiver tremendously, so they would up the anti-siezure medicines (Luprin?) to make her do that less. Watching her all night to make sure she didn't die by sheer force of my willpower, it was horrible watching her little body shiver. (Like the night before when it was spasms). I'd be fine, then see her suffer, and get a crying jag. Blood Sugar When she came in, her blood sugar was off. But a heart attack can cause that. I also mentioned that she sometimes hits these little boost gel things before/during a run. Since her blood sugar stayed good after that, they eventually dropped that as having much/anything to do with it. Best Friends Now! There's no dignity in a hospital. Our friend+nieghbor Vickiewas with Melissa, and they decided Melissa's temp had gone up to 99°, and they decided to cool her temp (brain injuries can't handle any fevers), so they flung off the covers and started putting chilling pads (with a water pump) on her to cool her down. Vicki quipped, "well, we're best friends now". There's no dignity in hospitals. Richard In the meantime, Richard was sleeping in the ICU waiting room (where he camped for 3 days). This waiting room doesn't attract the most upscale clientele. And I guess the ghetto-people were loud-talkers and kinda partying all night. Conversations like: "The stupid doctors won't give her pain meds because she's an addict; she's addicted to Meth, not Oxy! What a bunch of dumb fucks!" Me I had "slept" in a "chair" in the ICU. About 4 x 30 minute cat naps, in a plywood chair that had some simulated foam covering it, the legs kicked out but it didn't recline, light on, beeping, and a thin blanket while they were putting Melissa in hypothermia. They covered her in chilling pads, and dropped the temp to about 56° in the room. Every time they came in (30 mins or an hour) I was awake. They weren't really expecting her to make it through the night, and I was a bit outta my mind. It took until the next night to figure out that the "chair" had a recline button, and to get a second blanket and pillow. The recline function did less than you might think, as it had a wonderful seam in the plywood, in the middle of your back, and the stuff that resembled foam didn't do much to alleviate pressure points. I actually slept 4 hours in exhaustion. Still alive They sort of had the attitude that "24 hours without another V-tac?" They seemed surprised that she'd made it that far. I said, “keeping her hypothermic to help her brain?"... the Nurse replied, “Just trying preserve whatever brain function is left”. I’m thinking, “there’s about 1,000 better ways to word that, so thanks for the nightmares”. I chatted with that Nurse later, and she seemed nice enough -- just not bright enough to understand how deep her cuts wounded. I wanted her out of here. Wrong vibe. I'd also given her lots of information from Melissa's Medic-Alert, and I later found out she'd failed to enter any of it, and lost it. Neurological Test They did a short Neurological test (make sure she wasn't brain dead) where they took Melissa off sedation a little and said, "open your eyes" and they fluttered. I said more loudly, "Open Your Eyes, Baby!" and she popped them right open. She was still in there. Then they tried to do an EEG, but she was shaking so badly (from the hypothermia), it was inconclusive. Then I pushed them to put her back under (just having her shiver and gag on the vent while awake was cruel). A small taste of hope, that did little to assuage the terror. Medical staff has this attitude that since they won't remember whatever they're doing/letting happen (and it'll help them live), whatever they do doesn't count. To me, that feels as distasteful as raping a roofied girl -- just because she won't remember it, doesn't make it OK. It's horrible to watch. Keep working the Transfer to Houston Methodist Mirna was great, she'd worked at Houston Methodist, and was pulling strings to help them get her moved on their side -- and working on the Kingwood side as well. I was calling her Doctor(s) at Houston Methodist, and trying to get them to pre-accept her once we got the paperwork done (I eventually succeeded). I'd also gone home, showered, packed a bag for staying at Houston Meth.

Day 3

           Main article: 2023 Heart Attack/Day 3

2023-02-20 (Monday) Late night transfer (finally). Schrödinger's Wife Not the Peanuts piano player, the quantum physics cat. The thought experiment is that you have a cat in a box, and it's either alive or dead, and you'll only know which when you open the box (it will snap to that state when observed). Whatever had happened, had happened. Melissa was in there, or she wasn't. I just had to wait until they took her out of the coma to see whether I had the love of my life or not. They had her in a medical coma, and me in suspended animation. Excuse me Nurse, can I have some of those drugs too? Wake me when I know whether I have my wife or not. Richard Poor Richard should have his own almanac. Every night he dealt with idiots that thought the waiting room was theirs to party in, and talk loudly. Saying such things as, "Meh, he's asleep", when really he's over there trying not to start snapping necks of the people that think a somber waiting room, is really a place for playing out family drama and figuring out who was double-cousins with whom. Me Sleep is for the weak. Meh. I'm dealing with a bout of prostatitis -- basically it feels like someone left a chip-clip on the back of my scrot. Doesn't hurt much... but it's not helping my sleep deprived mood. Sanity Check Theresa was in the grieving room when they brought Melissa in. (One of the few people in my life to see me ugly-cry). I double checked with her -- they were totally writing her off, weren't they? I wasn't reading the signals or words wrong? Nope, I wasn't wrong. She knew they were doing exactly what I thought they were. I need to get her out of here. Houston Meth Another day of prodding both sides for the move. I sort of figured out that they didn't want to transfer a veg, so they were waiting and doing more tests to validate she was worth the effort. SAT - (Aptitude/Accuity?) - They took her off sedation and validated that she could sqeeze hands, follow directions, and things like that. She did. But in there, Vickie came in and chatted with her, and said, "These two fools (Rich and I) have been driving her nuts, and she laughed. (She's in there). SBT - (Breathing) - She had the vent in, but they turned it off to see if she could breathe on her own. She did the first hour. They were going to do the EEG or MRI again, but she was shaking violently. And gagging because the vent was making her throw up into the unconnected feeding tube. After a lot of wretching and me getting more pissed, they finally put her back under. And approved the transfer.

Day 4

           Main article: 2023 Heart Attack/Day 4

2023-02-21 (Tuesday) - Much better Hospital, but much more cautious protocols. Sedated Melissa came in sedated, they let me stay in the room until 11:00, but kicked me out. I said, "I can't sleep here?" -- they said only in extreme situations. I looked at my wife, and back at her, and said, "My wife is in the CCU and had CPR for an hour, how much more extreme do we need?" She chuckled and said, basically it's for if you're making end of life decisions and she's stable. Go to a Hotel. I went next door to the Marriott (with the help of security escorting me). Rounds Since I was there for Morning Rounds, I got to meet each of the group of specialists, answer questions, and validate their assumptions. It was so nice that they took down data that wouldn't get lost. When I said something, they looked up her records and validated it. They interrogated me, and compared it to other things. And asked me about her prior procedures to double-check how technical/trustworthy I was. And they asked others that testified on what happened as well. I loved their skepticism/validation. EEG They had let Melissa off sedation by mid-day -- but not off the vent. I was asking her questions and it almost all came to "please get me off the vent". The nice tech braided her hair (after 3 days, she liked that, and it took him time to untangle it). She passed (brain function normal), when he asked her things like: Are you Melissa Every? Yes Were you born on Feb 18th? No Were you born on March 18th? Yes Are you at home? Yes <- not a good answer (confusion). But she just came off sedation. I told her she was at the Hospital. She sort of went into a daze after that -- just burned out, lightly sedated... she caught me looking at her and crying and she started to cry, so I stopped that, and instead explained what had happened to her, and that she was going to be fine. She'd done this before. And she seemed to get some of that. Replace everything They took our her Foley, about every line, and wire, and slowly replaced them with better solutions. Like they took out a femoral line and replaced it with a PIC (which can exist longer without infection). They would come and turn her every few hours to avoid bed sores (the other place didn't). They had stricter protocols, like they wouldn't MRI her until she could be responsive enough to follow directions and speak back. Maybe tomorrow. Or the next day.

Day 5

           Main article: 2023 Heart Attack/Day 5

2023-02-22 (Wednesday) - Very responsive, had CT, got a Feeding Tube, and only short term memory. When they get the vent out, she will be able to talk and they will MRI her. SBT She has been off anesthesia for a day and is wide awake, and hates that fucking vent... every time I try to interact, she's letting me know that she wants to get that out. They do the SAT test, and she keeps passing. She knows where she is (and she doesn't like the vent). But they won't remove the vent until other milestones are done. Feeding Tube They put in a nose feeding tube in case they want to take her off vent. Telling her what happened I can see her pleading eyes, but she can't communicate. But I was asking her questions and little yes/no shakes, or some blinking. I asked her if she wanted to know what happened -- and yes. So I told her she had a heart-attack while running and that said she had CPR for an hour.. and she raised her eyebrows like "holy shit. An hour is a long time for CPR". But I quickly figure out that she forgets every 10-20 minutes. But I keep repeating it, as she seems to want to know and reacts the same. I tell her things to soothe her (like Rich stayed in the waiting room for 3 days; more raised eyebrows). Some hope... but I didn't sleep much that night. I know that short term memory loss seems obvious with what she's been through... but the nightmare is that she'll never get it back, and we'll have to live groundhog day. She loves remembering birthdays and cards, and not being able to do that, would be so mean for her.

Day 6

           Main article: 2023 Heart Attack/Day 6

2023-02-23 (Thursday) - Not a good day. Bad expectations; I thought vent out = baby back and croaking. Instead more greif and loss. Greif and Brotherly Wisdom. I had the unrealistic expectation that vent out, she'd start talking. Her memory was shot, her brain could only foccus on next need. I went from a good day, to despair thinking my baby was lost. And talking to my brother, I mentioned that crying to me just feels like self-pity. They were at peace, so I was selfishly wailing about what I'd lost. He explained that kind of grief is a human's way of addressing how much they matter/mattered. Also, to be fair, much of my terror is about her and her quality of life. I can control grief for periods of time. And had to for much of it. But it sneaks up on you, and hits you. Every time I had to retell the story, I was getting choked up and her/my loss, and what she had to go through. (And I was suffering by proxy). But I kept telling it to people she would want to know. I don't know if it was helping or hurting me. It was like PTSD, I couldn't get it out of my mind. But I was trying to come to terms, and desensitize myself. But it just felt like I was just picking a scab and it was getting more and more sensitive. It was also torture not knowing. She was alive, probably wouldn't die. Would she be aware? Or just glimses now and then? She seemed to remember long term, would she be able to remember short term and have a life? Would she be able to speak or walk? In a lot of ways accepting death would have been easier than this. While still being grateful for her not being dead. This to me was a small taste of the cruelty of what Alzheimers families have to go through. While also suffering at how good our life has been up to this point. I want it back! She wants it back! And I don't think it'll ever be the same. Lawyers and DNR's We had done our Trust a while back, and the Hospital had asked for various paperwork. I'd called my Lawyer-Friend Cici, who cried when I told her the news about Melissa (and has kept checking in ever since). She sent me copies, because I didn't have the energy to dig them up out of Melissa's files. And told me only to give the DNR when that decision absolutely had to be made. Melissa's Mom Mary had both wanted to come, and not. I could protect her from the Coma watch, where she could do nothing. And the hospital of barbarities where they'd already written Melissa off. But it was her Baby too. And I couldn't protect her forever, and I needed help and was fraying. So when she offered to come out, I thought about it, and relented. It was time to share the burden, and Melissa's Mom being there, might help her brain recover. And if anything did happen, Mary needed to be there too.

Day 7

           Main article: 2023 Heart Attack/Day 7

2023-02-24 (Friday) Bad Day (Lasix and Ringing meant few glimpses of Melissa, just a person in pain), and I killed her plant at home. Melissa had been given Lasix to help with fluid Lasix is a drug (this one IV based) that helps pull out fluid from the body, and it worked -- Melissa gave up 3 liters. However a side-effect is that it can cause ringing in the ears. Because of that the day was kinda consumed with, "Make it stop". She was not a happy girl -- and that made her far from coherent. Sad Plant You are supposed to water plants? I've been a bit distracted... and remembered that her favorite plant was looking really bad. So I gave it a 60 Oz of water. Not only didn't it perk up, that container only holds about 4 Oz before it leaks out the bottom onto the floor. I hope the towels were thrirsty. I decided I'm going to have to go for the Goldfish solution -- and I'll go see if I can find a bigger/healthier version of the plant to replace it with, in hopes that she doesn't notice and thinks that I'm a good plant caretaker, instead of just sneaky husband.

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2023 Heart Attack Feb 18th Melissa had a heart attack, stroke, and had to have CPR for over an hour.

Tags: 2023 Heart Attack/Weeks